Saint Anastasia Catholic School has adopted the RULER emotional intelligence program for the framework of the school's social emotional learning curriculum.  All teachers and staff members go through extensive training to implement the RULER tools and philosophy.  The following link provides detailed information about Yale's Center For Emotional Intelligence and the RULER program.

Parent Resources

  • Kindness Warriors

    Posted by Elizabeth Handal on 3/8/2018

    Raising Kindness Warriors


    Listen actively (non-defensively)  . . . then problem-solve. (Modeling empathy)

    When your child shares with you an experience, troubling feelings, or is really upset, as much as possible, set aside all distractions and actively listen. This helps them feel seen and heard.

    • Let what they say and all the accompanying feelings be in the room for 90 seconds.
    • Say: “Tell me more about that.” “Anything else to add?” This shows them you are with them no matter how big the feelings.
    • Validate and empathize. “That must be hard.” “I can see why you were so angry”. “I would feel really sad too if that happened to me.” When feeling understood, more tears may be shed and we can be in that moment with them.

    Problem solving too quickly can leave them feeling unheard or even that they should have solved this problem before coming to you. Feeling heard, seen and validated helps our kids to access their problem solving skills. They may still need guidance, but will be ready to move on to solutions after feeling heard.

    • Develop self-awareness: notice if your child’s experience triggers your own feelings, stay aware and remain present for your child.
    • If you feel yourself tensing up when your child shares a big feeling, or recalls an event that is upsetting, try mindful breathing and stay present with your child. Ask yourself “what is my best parenting-self in this moment?”

    While we may feel we need to rush to our child’s defense, or right any outrageous wrongs, we help our kids access resilience when we listen and stay present with them.


    Intentionally plan

    • “Let’s all do 5 acts of Kindness a day”. Take time as a family to recount the day’s kindnesses. This helps develop the habit of kindness. (Compliments are a great place to start)
    • Focus on processes instead of outcomes. “Your team looked like you were having fun when you worked together & gave each other high-fives.”
    • Point out and celebrate your own mistakes & failures. “I’m learning too”. (combats perfectionism)
    • Look for the “why” behind others unkind behavior. Rather than labeling others as “mean” ask aloud, “I wonder if all is ok?” This models compassion.
    • Demonstrate maintaining boundaries while also being kind.
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  • Meta Moment

    Posted by Tracy Mayhue on 1/14/2016

    Meta Moment


    Ever feel annoyed, irritated or stressed? Ever find yourself angry in a moment where you need to be your best self in order to be effective? "Red" feelings are normal and all people experience them from time-time. The Meta Moment is a process created for effectively managing the space in between an emotional trigger and response. That "space' between trigger and response can seem non-existent when tempers flare, or we are overwhelmed with the demands of a busy day. This research-based, six-step process provides the tools to expand that space and, over time, helps people respond to their emotions with their best selves in mind
    Students are learning this six-step process over the next several weeks. As this learning process unfolds invite your student to teach you the Meta Moment steps. Possible questions to ask your child:
    • Step 1: Describe Meta's facial expression when Something Happens (trigger). What clues in Meta's expression let you know how he's feeling?
    • Step 2: Sense. Meta is illustrated with a brain, heart and flushed cheeks. What is going on in Meta's body?
    • Step 3: Why does Meta have to Stop in step 3?
    • Step 4: What does it mean to See Your Best Self in step 4?
    • Step 5: When Meta Strategizes, why is he holding a tool box? Are all strategies helpful?
    • Step 6: When Meta Succeeds, how does his face look? Is "responding effectively" the same thing as "it went the way I wanted?"
    Further ways to connect: 
    Early Primary (JK -2nd) When reading with your child, discuss the characters reactions to situations and each other. Describe the facial expressions and the way words are spoken. Reflect together on ways a Meta Moment could help a character respond more effectively. 
    Primary (3-5) Movie night - when you and your children are watching a family favorite together, look at the interactions between characters, or choices characters make (good and bad). When a character's body language, speech tone and facial expression display a trigger moment, predict how you think that character will respond. (a good one to try: Inside Out) 
    Jr. High (6-8) Potential moments to notice body language, facial expressions, ineffective vs. effective responses etc:
    While watching professional sports together
    Discussing current events
    Noticing Spiritual leaders, positive change-makers and inspirational everyday people who display Meta Moment behavior in service of making a difference in our world. (How they overcome response immediacy in order to serve a long-term purpose or goal - and the role of trust.) 
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  • Grief Support Resources

    Posted by Tracy Mayhue on 11/16/2015


    Dear St. A's Parents,

    As we come together as a school family to support one another and our students, the Social Emotional Learning Committee has partnered with LMU to provide you with helpful grief resources during this difficult time. 

    Included below are links to documents and websites that come highly recommended by LMU, as well as resources from community partners who have stepped forward to show their support of our school. We are tremendously grateful for their care and concern for our St. A's student, parent and staff community. 

    As you make use of these resources, a few things to keep in mind as your child processes the many different emotions and feelings grief can bring:

    • Students show their grief in many different ways and there is no way to predict how grief will manifest itself in thier behavior. We as adults can be a calm, reassuring person who is empathic to their grief. To simply listen as a child shares their feelings can bring much healing. 
    • We help students when we are aware of our own feelings. Loss and death can bring up a range of complex emotions including anger, guilt, helplessness, sadness and many more. Spend time thinking about what emotions this situation is bringing up for you and take time to tend to your own emotional response. 

    OUR HOUSE Grief Center: http://www.ourhouse-grief.org/grief-pages/

    The Dougy Center: The National Center for Grieving Children and Families http://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/

    Scholastic: http://www.scholastic.com/childrenandgrief/

    How To Talk To Your Grade-Schooler About Death

    Please be in touch with any further questions or specific needs - tmayhue@st-anastasia.org

    Eternal rest grant unto Monsignor Gonzales, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. Amen.


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  • Cyber Safety

    Posted by Tracy Mayhue on 10/28/2015

    Here are 4 PDF resources from SafelyEverAfter...

    Advice for Families and Kids

    Family Internet Contract

    Cyber Safety Converstaion Starters

    Cyber Smarts for Kids

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